You may know the voice. Some of us are all too familiar with it. The one in your head that throws little doubts or amounts of negativity in your direction. “You’ll never get there”, “You’re horrible at this, you shouldn’t even try”, “Just give up”. That voice in our heads putting question to our value as a caring human being is our inner critic. Your inner critic is the internal voice that not only criticizes you but tells you what you should and should not do. It can make you feel inferior, judge each decision you have ever made and cause an inferiority complex. Once we learn to let go of any form of inner criticizer, we can direct our lives the way they were meant to go.
Cognitive Distortions: our inner critic
First, how about we talk about thoughts. We experience our thoughts in an inner voice we can listen to like anyone else’s voice. These thoughts can also be known as Cognitive Distortions. Cognitive distortions are those habitual ways we talk to ourselves, and they can be highly negative, situational but toxic. Anyone can experience, cognitive distortions are chronic errors in thinking. People develop cognitive distortions through experience or negative life events.
However, it isn’t just any voice—it is us talking to ourselves – a type of inner judge and storyteller all in one. Frequently, this inner voice can be our most negative, loudest commentator.
Our inner critic is just that.
The words our inner critic uses to judge us may be very familiar, or you may not even notice it. This possible hint or barrage of negative talk can be a convincing force in damaging our inner strength and reducing our sense of self-worth.
So how can we ignore it?
There are a few ways to work around this inner voice. First, may be to ignore it by redirecting our focus onto something else. Where you meditate, talk to someone, find other things around you using your sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing, and visual senses. Focusing on the 5 senses, a form of “Grounding” can work well to bring you back to the present in those situations where anxiety can spike and the inner narrator takes over.
By drowning the inner voice with more positive activities and thoughts, kind of like when you have trouble sleeping or don’t want others to hear a conversation and you use a white noise machine to drown out other noises.
This can be a functional short-term solution, but it is not sustainable over longer periods. We need more tools in our “managing the inner critic toolbox” than just ignoring.
What is the best approach to changing a negative internal self-narrative?
For a balanced option, the first idea is to recognize the internal chatter. Taking a step back and listening to both the words and tone of this inner narrator. From this place of awareness, we have a few choices. We can have a reality check to see what your critic is saying. In this instance, you should believe against, until proven otherwise. evidence. This would be especially significant with the “shoulds, never, always” kind of thinking.
Some examples of negative thinking would be saying to yourself things like: “I’m ugly, I’ll never be good enough,” or “I always embarrass myself.” When these thoughts happen, it’s important to remind ourselves that thoughts are not fact, even when we feel like they are. Certain life experiences can cause/increase these feelings and learned thought patterns can be worked on and changed. We have got to want it.
Another approach is to offer ourselves some self-compassion. How would you speak to a close friend or a child? You would never say, “yeah you’re the worst, just give up.”
Instead, try intentionally giving yourself the same kindness you would to a dear friend. Say to yourself, “I did do my best, this was beyond my control,” or “next time will be better, I deserve to be happy.”
This kind of self-talk can soften the rough edges of the inner critic and begin to bring positive balance to our inner conversation. The challenge is not to debate and come up with all the reasons why it is not true or never going to happen….. it’s a time to find balance, contentment, and happiness with our inner selves.
If you feel your critic countering with “but…” repeat the kindness and turn whatever negative is bombarding you, into whatever positive you can think of at that moment and repeat it to yourself at least three times. Taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to relax, and even saying something like “I’ve got this!” can make a world of difference.
Mindfulness is the most basic ability to be completely present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, without judgment. Mindfulness means no overreacting or being overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
Whether it be by taking a few breaths as you count, exercising, or a short break where you meditate. Finally, a mindfulness approach is to simply observe the statements from a safe distance and let them go. It will take some time to master this, especially if you are stressed or it was something you truly gave your all.
We do this by applying a label to the thoughts – “judging, critic, self-defeating” – choosing a label that has meaning for you. You can even get creative: “It’s my Thought Beast, at it again!” When we label thoughts or thinking traps like this, it shows the true sunshine and lessens the chances of the negativity sticking around. Followed by finding the positive, and if a negative thought comes to mind insist on finding something positive about the situation. After a while, hopefully, those thoughts may stop reacting altogether, and even if they do, you can replace them with more positive ones.
The inner critic has this ability to make us consistently anxious or worried. To curtail some of these feelings, if juggling all you do is putting a mental block on what you want to accomplish and you would like to talk with someone to help you find a different perspective, coping mechanisms (after trying) and practicing, call one of the many amazing therapists in your area. When deciding on a therapist, look for those who practice Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing. There are so many versatile, highly trained counselors out there that can help. Although most therapists can teach you how to put more focus on how to maximize a better self-care-based life, and self-expression, as well as finding the cause of that “block” it’s going to take hard work, inquisitiveness and determination from you as well, to get where you really want to be.
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic
- Create a strong appreciation of your thoughts. …
- Find a way to end that by reflecting on the negative. …
- Think about what advice you would give to a friend. …
- Examine the proof within yourself and your beliefs, and actions.…
- Replace critical thoughts with more accurate statements. Be empathetic to yourself and not just others…
- Take into consideration what it would be like if your thoughts were true…
These are all great ideas and can be difficult to make a habit but believe in yourself and don’t give up.
When we grew up or had certain life experiences and people we looked up to that encouraged negativity about ourselves, the good news is that anything can be unlearned or replaced. The thoughts will always be there in the back of your mind, but you learn the tools to be able to stop them from going widespread throughout your brain.
Self-critical thoughts have a deep root and can be painful and definitely disrupt our lives. We need to learn how to soothe our inner voice and reinforce those with positive thoughts. It’s great when we give others that positive reinforcement, how about we try all that on ourselves? We are all amazing, compassionate, and adaptable, so imagine if we shared some of those awesome qualities with ourselves to see the truly hard-working, loving self we can be.
Critical thoughts can feel/sound horrible. Telling yourself something like I’m a horrible ____ (fill in the blank), can really leave you feeling empty. Yes, criticizing yourself might change things temporarily. Being hard on yourself frequently can lead to a continual feeling of never being enough. Depression, stress, anxiety, and burnout create chaos in our self-worth, relationships and just being able to be happy with our lives. If something happens that makes you feel negative vibes against yourself, be compassionate and remind yourself next time will be better. Having the determination to improve your situation is key and pertinent in this moment of distress to find your best life.
Find something you enjoy and if you hear that inner voice telling you not to waste your time, tell it to eat dirt! Amplify that Confidence! You’ve Got This!!!
Cognitive Distortions: our inner critic
First, how about we talk about thoughts? We experience our thoughts in an inner voice we can listen to like anyone else’s voice. These thoughts can also be known as Cognitive Distortions. Cognitive distortions are those habitual ways we talk to ourselves, and they can be highly negative, and situational but toxic. Anyone can experience, cognitive distortions which are chronic errors in thinking. People develop cognitive distortions through experiences or negative life events.
However, it isn’t just any voice—it is us talking to ourselves – a type of inner judge and storyteller all in one. Frequently, this inner voice can be our most negative, loudest commentator.
Our inner critic is just that.
The words our inner critic uses to judge us may be very familiar, or you may not even notice it. This possible hint or barrage of negative talk can be a convincing force in damaging our inner strength and reducing our sense of self-worth.
So how can we ignore it?
There are a few ways to work around this inner voice. First, maybe ignore it by redirecting our focus onto something else. Where you meditate, talk to someone, and find other things around you using your sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing, and visual senses. Focusing on the 5 senses, a form of “Grounding” can work well to bring you back to the present in those situations where anxiety can spike and the inner narrator takes over.
By drowning the inner voice with more positive activities and thoughts, kind of like when you have trouble sleeping or don’t want others to hear a conversation and you use a white noise machine to drown out other noises.
This can be a functional short-term solution, but it is not sustainable over longer periods. We need more tools in our “managing the inner critic toolbox” than just ignoring.
What is the best approach to changing a negative internal self narrative?
For a balanced option, the first idea is to recognize the internal chatter. Taking a step back and listening to both the words and tone of this inner narrator. From this place of awareness, we have a few choices. We can have a reality check to see what your critic is saying. In this instance, you should believe against, until proven otherwise. evidence. This would be especially significant with the “shoulds, never, always” kind of thinking.
Some examples of negative thinking would be saying to yourself things like: “I’m ugly, I’ll never be good enough,” or “I always embarrass myself.” When these thoughts happen, it’s important to remind ourselves that thoughts are not fact, even when we feel like they are. Certain life experiences can cause/increase these feelings and learned thought patterns can be worked on and changed. We have got to want it.
Another approach is to offer ourselves some self-compassion. How would you speak to a close friend or a child? You would never say, “yeah you’re the worst, just give up.”
Instead, try intentionally giving yourself the same kindness you would to a dear friend. Say to yourself, “I did do my best, this was beyond my control,” or “next time will be better, I deserve to be happy.”
This kind of self-talk can soften the rough edges of the inner critic and begin to bring positive balance to our inner conversation. The challenge is not to debate and come up with all the reasons why it is not true or never going to happen….. it’s a time to find balance, contentment, and happiness with our inner selves.
If you feel your critic countering with “but…” repeat the kindness and turn whatever negative is bombarding you, into whatever positive you can think of at that moment and repeat it to yourself at least three times. Taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to relax, and even saying something like “I’ve got this!” can make a difference.
Mindfulness is the most basic ability to be completely present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, without judgment. Mindfulness means no overreacting or being overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
Whether it be by taking a few breaths as you count, exercising, or a short few-minute break where you meditate. Finally, a mindfulness approach is to simply observe the statements from a safe distance and let them go.
We do this by applying a label to the thoughts – “judging, critic, self-defeating” – choosing a label that has meaning for you. You can even get creative: “It’s my Thought Beast, at it again!” When we label thoughts or thinking traps like this, it shows the true sunshine and lessens the chances of the negativity sticking around. Followed by finding the positive, and if a negative thought comes to mind insist on finding something positive about the situation. After a while, hopefully, those thoughts may stop reacting altogether, and even if they do you can replace them with more positive ones.
The inner critic has this ability to make us consistently anxious or worried. To curtail some of these feelings, if juggling all you do is putting a mental block on what you want to accomplish and you would like to talk with someone to help you find a different perspective, coping mechanisms (after trying) and practicing, call one of the many amazing therapists in your area. When deciding on a therapist, look for those who practice Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness, and Motivational Interviewing. There are so many versatile, highly trained counselors out there that can help. Although most therapists can teach you how to put more focus on how to maximize a better self-care-based life, and self-expression, as well as finding the cause of that “block” it’s going to take hard work, inquisitiveness and determination from you as well, to get where you really want to be.
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic
- Create a strong appreciation of your thoughts. …
- Find a way to end that by reflecting on the negative. …
- Think about what advice you would give to a friend. …
- Examine the proof within yourself and your beliefs, and actions.…
- Replace critical thoughts with more accurate statements. Be empathetic to yourself and not just others…
- Take into consideration what it would be like if your thoughts were true…
These are all great ideas and can be difficult to make a habit but believe in yourself and don’t give up.
Can you retrain your inner critic?
Our inner critic, we may all know this better as our self-esteem, our confidence, or lack of. The way we think about ourselves now, for the most part, was learned through life experiences. If we learn to realize its presence, in the way we talk to ourselves or think about how things for us might be, the easier it will become to focus more on the positives we possess.
And yes, we all have them, but for some people, it can be much more difficult to see and acknowledge them, replacing those negative thoughts with realistic positive ones. In many ways, it can take many years and various traumas, experiences, and situations to sharpen our inner critic.
When we grew up or had certain life experiences and people we looked up to that encouraged negativity about ourselves, the good news is that anything can be unlearned or replaced. The thoughts will always be there in the back of your mind, but you learn the tools to be able to stop them from going widespread throughout your brain.
Self-critical thoughts have a deep root and can be painful and definitely disrupt our lives. We need to learn how to soothe our inner voice and reinforce those with positive thoughts. It’s great when we give others that positive reinforcement, how about we try all that on ourselves? We are all amazing, compassionate, and adaptable, so imagine if we shared some of those awesome qualities with ourselves to see the truly hard-working, loving self we can be.
Critical thoughts can feel/sound horrible. Telling yourself something like I’m a horrible ____ (fill in the blank), can really leave you feeling empty. Yes, criticizing yourself might change things temporarily. Being hard on yourself frequently can lead to a continual feeling of never being enough. Depression, stress, anxiety, and burnout create chaos in our self-worth, relationships and just being able to be happy with our lives. If something happens that makes you feel negative vibes against yourself, be compassionate and remind yourself next time will be better. Having the determination to improve your situation is key and pertinent in this moment of distress to find your best life.
Find something you enjoy and if you hear that inner voice telling you not to waste your time, tell it to eat dirt! Amplify that Confidence! You’ve Got This!!!
